When I talk to many women who’ve lived in this world for 50 years or more, they have already had a painful life of being used, serving others, suffering through a painful marriage and still cannot imagine having any other life than this. To her, rules of living under males are cemented in her head, it’s next to impossible for her even to conceptualize young women not getting married and not having to go through the same. When I talk to an 80 year old woman, she cannot understand or accept that girls today won't have children, alternate life paths that don’t include being married and serving a man and giving him children are out of her reach! The oppression has claimed their lives and it lives in their minds as the only possible rule of life.
From a young age, girls are pressured to act feminine, to look beautiful, to become a desirable woman. Yet at the same time, girls are shamed for pursuing these traditionally feminine interests. Men create beauty standards for women that are difficult and time-consuming to achieve, and then make fun of their wives for taking so long in doing their makeup. An extremely popular character trope is a female character who vocally shuns femininity, yet is never seen without a perfectly contoured face and styled hair. This character may have a boyish name, struggle to relate to other women, and joke about not being a girl, yet will never fail to meet every beauty standard in place. These are the consequences of the patriarchal and biased society we live in.
Women who are still getting scorned for speaking out, hated and harassed for our appearance, our biological features still used against us, violence inflicted on us normalized. We have to watch our own getting brutalized and raped everyday on the media and it’s terrifying to know how badly we are hated. We get to hear about women getting abused without ever being shown compassion and we are left to try and figure on our own, what path we can take not to end up like her.
Things we should stop telling girls and change the patriarchal mindset-
-‘a girl is prettier without make-up’ or I prefer ‘natural girls’ when she wears makeup.
-‘have you seen the skirt she's wearing, its too short’ when a girl walks down a street wearing shorts.
-‘why don’t you wear a girly outfit’ when a girl is wearing oversized shirts or what society thinks doesn’t certify as ‘girly’, girls should wear what makes them feel comfortable not what men want them to wear.
-‘Girls don’t know anything about it’ when a guy is talking about sports. A girl’s interests don’t depend on her gender. A girl can be passionate about anything.
- ‘You are overreacting’ when a girl experiences sexism in her life. Sexism exists and girls experience it everyday. Nobody is overreacting, we just react in different ways. So if a girl says that she felt harassed by a particular behavior, believe her, help her and don’t say ‘you’re overreacting’ because it isn’t true at all.
-‘are you on your period?’ when a girl is nervous or angry We aren’t smiling dolls who always talk nice. We are humans, we have emotions, we have bad days, and our periods don’t influence them.
Women empowerment means allowing women to choose their own path no judgement attached. So if a woman wants to be a housewife and that is her dream go for it, its their choice. If a woman wants to be in the corporate world become a successful entrepreneur and become a big boss in the office, then she can go after that dream. The point is that women should be allowed to choose what they want to do so long as it abides by the law so long as she is doing something good then let her be. Why should anyone in the world be allowed to judge what a person's passion and dream is? At the end of the day everyone wants to lead a happy fulfilling life so let them be.
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